Transitions..

I sometimes tend to think of life as having many "transition phases."

For example, when I switched from Lamar to Northeast in the 8th grade or when I graduated high school and moved to Starkville, or moving from Starkville to Birmingham. There are many different transitions in life and I feel as if I've been stuck in one for quite some time now.

Although, I'm afraid that moving to Birmingham would by far be my biggest (and most difficult) transition to make thus far.

I am quite the friend fanatic (as if you couldn't tell). And I like to have friends everywhere I go. I love meeting new people and finding new friends. Whether it be switching schools or going off to college, with each ending became a new beginning. I knew one friend at Northeast when I transfered from Lamar; by my senior year, I was captain of the cheerleading squad, president of the student council, involved in every organization you could imagine, and I had made so many amazing new friendships that will last a lifetime. When I moved to college, it was somewhat of a transition but I left Mississippi State w/ tons of new friendships in which will also last a lifetime; when I go back to Starkville, it feels as if I'm going back "home." It's familiar, it's comfortable, it's everything I've ever known, it's home. And I would have to say that for the state of Mississippi also.

Alabama is so different. Who knew that moving a short 2 1/2 hours away could be so different?! Everyone here is either a huge Auburn or Alabama fan, they graduated from one of the two colleges, and they have their own friends-just like I would have my friends had I stayed within the state of Mississippi.

Lately, I feel as if I've just been stuck in "transition" and I'm not liking it one bit. Although I really like Birmingham, I like my job, I like UAB, and I love my apartment, it's just not home. I know that every transition in life takes time; I will say that it took about six months for me to get adjusted when I switched schools and also when I moved to college but I've been in AL for about 8 months and that just hasn't happened yet. In the past, I've immediately made good friends with each transition and it really just hasn't happened like that here. I try getting involved, I attended Young Professional events and have tried getting involved in a church but things are so "big city" here. Everything is based upon a transaction and not a relationship (is how I metaphorically like to think of it). Churches are so large, neighborhoods are so big, and Young Professionals doesn't have the same crowd each meeting. There isn't just one "hangout" spot for people our age, and it seems that everyone my age graduated w/in the state of AL and tend to only hang out with their college friends. I know this can't always be the case, but I have not met nearly the amount of people that I thought I would; everyone that I have met have become purely acquaintances and nothing much more. I have a few friends here, but I just don't have a best friend.

I just got off of the phone with two of my best friends and my family, and for the first time in a long time I hung up the phone and had a complete meltdown. I miss my best friends, and I miss my family, a lot more than I could have ever imagined. I've been by myself (except for work and class, of course) all week and I can't take much more of it. Between class and work, I've never been busier. But being busy doesn't keep you from being lonely. Now more than ever I long to have not just a friend in the same city, but a best friend, b/c they mean way more than just a good friend on most days. In college I literally didn't leave my friends sides. I had a minimum of at least 5 friends everywhere I went. I can't recall going many places alone, and now it seems as if that's all that I do. Now I do have friends here, but I don't see them every week and we definitely don't get together every day. And I miss that, a lot.

Oh what I would give to live with my best friends again! With my apartment lease running up in a short three months I have so much to think about. I've got two tests next week, so to say that I'm stressed to the max and beyond exhausted would be a nice way to put it. I love Birmingham, but I really don't want to sign another year lease. I would love to take all of my classes and move to be w/best friends (or family for that matter). I honestly don't know where I would go or what I would do; and I'm so blessed to have all that I have now, but there's a lot that I miss. It occurs to me every day on my way into work that I have a job and I have a store of my own at home, why do I need to work here?! I know what I'm doing with my life, and that's not working in Birmingham and that's not working at a bank. It's working in a clothing store in the state of Mississippi with my best friends and the best family that I could ask for! It's doing what I absolutely love the most in life, what I've been taught to do, and what I know I want to do and will do sometime in the near future.

Why am I here?!